Closed.

Dear readers,

Hi! I am Annisa of course. The only author to this CrazyCasper blog. Nyeheh! =P

I want to thank you for reading this blog. I have switched to one that is more flexible in terms of privacy and also uses. Do come on down whenever you have the time.

This blog is officially closed.

Current hang out spot: http://foxtrotmaniac.multiply.com

Happy Fasting too all fellow brothers and sisters in Islam!

-aNnisa aka caSper

The Under-Rated Word

It’s working me up to the ceiling. I keep beating myself over it. I shouldn’t let it. I know, I did this to myself. For having such a confusing past. For experiencing such an unexplainable adolescent.

One thing I just realize about my character: I cannot stand it if someone I know or care about, doesn’t trust me.

TRUST!

It is such an underrated word! It’s not just a word you can use to fling about. Not one to roll off the tongue unless if you truly mean it!

So yes, I did this mess to myself. For having loved so passionately and to have “bragged” about it even! For not being tactful to feelings and for being an idiot. I can be so stupid at times know!!! =((

I treasure trust. I never knew how much I needed it until I lost it. In the blink of an eye, I LOST IT!!! Huff…. *slaps head* Or perhaps, I never had it to begin with!? OUh no!! =(((

What’s even worst, the trust, will be difficult to acquire back again. Sometimes, it’s just too damaged and can’t be regained. OUH! *sobs!*

So please, for those of you out there who trust someone or holds someone trust in you, don’t disappoint them! Or don’t let them disappoint you! TELL THEM you trust them! And hear them reply that they do too. Trust, is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Without it, there is no love to begin with. So yeah! Do you hear me?? Treasure it!!

-1915-

“I’m so sorry. So so sorry. Trust in me please! PLEASE!”

I’ve moved! But wait… not really. LOL!

Hello! I’ve moved to a Blogspot:

http://www.foxtrotmaniac.blogspot.com

**

Reading back all my previous entries here, it really entices me to return to Friendster blog. I know I’m being fickle. “Why would you want to keep changing blogs huh!?”

I feel it a drag to keep updating. At least, while I’m here at Friendster, I can do other stuff instead of blogging. I used to be so happy here until it didn’t grant me access! heh!. Now though, it seems it does. You see! Even this place is being fickle! Not just me! =PppPP

Alright, I’ve got to go rest now. Got a fever when I woke up this morning. Huff…

I’ll see if I’d rather close my blogspot because I have been blogging there since start of this year.

Ah… we’ll see.

Take care dear readers. =)

-0734-

Laughing.

Heelloooo to you all. *drawls* A quick update for *not gonna mention that person’s name ‘cos it’s so obvious!!*.

Friday:

Had a friendly badminton match against Desmond(from ITE) and it was fun. So today(Saturday), I awoke to muscle cramps but you know, I really don’t mind. It’s a sign that Friday was a great workout. Thanks Desmond for the great tips on how to smash. Lol! Yet, I still can’t smash. Need more practice!!

Today(Saturday):

As usual, head to work in the morning. Strangely enough, boss have been asking me to extend almost everyday. I can’t even remember the last time I went home at one in the afternoon!!(It was last week)

Ahem.
=P
I confess, I don’t mind going home late. Home is almost always lonely since mum’s at work and dad’s out and brother’s on the comp. Who am I to entertain?? Plus, eversince work started, I suddenly find myself with a crowd to entertain and they always laugh at my jokes. Always! I mean, how AWESOME is that!?! Hahaha! *full of glee!*I cannot ask for better rewards than to hear someone laugh at something I said or did. PATHETIC as I may be!! *squints at people!*

So, Alhamdulillah to that. =)

Boss and I get along swimmingly though sometimes I worry that she’s working herself to the ceiling. I may not know her job scope to the letter but it seems to be difficult. I mean, she’s always busy! Half an hour to rest out of eight hours of work? That’s not right. Lately though I feel much better seeing as I’ve managed to ease her burden. God, I hope she knows how hard she’s worked. About time she gets some rest!

Besides all this, I’m happy as always. =) I’m smiling at you and I hope you’re happy too.

Have a good remaining week of 2008. Don’t wait on me! I’ll be at home reading. =D

-

Glad Tidings.

Was it just last week that I blogged? Hohohoho!

Hmm, well for one thing, I’ve (finally) had a haircut!!

(Thanks Mum!! You’re a Pro!) =)

Bye-bye to annoying hair getting in the way. Now it’s just the breeze against the back of my neck and that, in itself, feels great! So, Alhamdulillah to that. =) Colleagues said I look real naughty. Hehehehe… DO I? C’mon now, be honest. >=)

Work is going at a smooth, consistent pace. Everyday is a workout and a challenge. Like what Gil Grissom (CSI guy) once said, “Challenges keep the mind supple.” Of course, I have lesser time for other things like cycling or reading but it’s almost unnecessary now. No wait… I definitely want to go cycling soon! Hhahaha!!!

I have been protected by Allah and I thank Him. For without him, I doubt that I’d be where I am now. I’d be lost, depressed and somber. I’d get angry easily and lose patience. I’d probably be dead even! So Alhamdulillah!! I can’t thank Him enough!

Anyway, 1st Muharram coming on 28th Dec. I wonder what we shall do…..

-

Do you Love your Job?

Working in a systematic place can drain you physically too.

I love my job. =)

Perhaps only a handful could say that. I honestly do love it. I love heading to work in the morning and just bask in that invigorating morning dew aroma! O joy! I love saying hello to my colleagues and to greet them in peace. I love the physical aspect of my job which requires me to always be on the move and to be alert.

The greatest obstacle this job could offer is the test of patience. Slowly but surely, patience will soon be in your hands if you could only work hard to earn it.

It is a definite plus if you are working under a leader who is there to guide and train you through difficult times. Who is also your mentor and friend and cracks jokes once a while! Ouh how I love my leader!

I have been utterly blessed by Allah to have this job.

Now He has put me to the test to see how well I achieve in it. Of course, I have my ups and downs. Everyone experiences it.

I think of Him often and what I have read of Him in the Qu’ran. I’ve read and understood that He doesn’t wish upon us any difficulty. He wishes for us to do things smoothly and without haste. He wishes for us patience when in anger or in spite.

I love my God too.

Perhaps only a handful could say that and mean it. I wish to love Him more each day but it is a difficult task when you face such horrid things during the day! He has sent angels to march in front of you and behind you. And He is there, right in front of you the moment you implore or call on Him. He has told us to believe in the Unseen. Well, believe in the Unseen if you believe in the Seen. Surely you could feel both of it if you but try.

Yes, yes I believe that is all I wish to type. Hahaha!!!

Assalam’mualaikum to you. =)

-1820-

Quickie: Esp for those who LEERS!!!

A quick update and I’m done for the month!

I’ve been working and it’s tiring but what can I say, I love it. I just wanted to say that, I’m no gender-bender. If you look at me, you might see a boy. In actual fact, I’m a girl. People are so quick to pass judgment!!

I don’t wear fancy boy clothes. Just a top and jeans or shorts. Sandals or maybe a sports shoe. Accompanied by a cap but what else do you want for someone who doesn’t dresses up often(or even at all in a year)?

You see here is how it is, for those women who leered at me so glaringly(huff!!!), you should be ashamed! Think about it; I’m skinny, lanky and crazy smiley, how can I possible keep you satisfied with what you need(if you thought I was a man). I’m not so tall, nor lean with muscles. I don’t leer at you, I keep my eyes where it should be and that’s elsewhere. So stop undressing me with your eyes!

Sure, I have utmost respect for women but these days, I’m finding it hard to concentrate when they act so creepy around me. The moment my respect for them is lost when they just keep bumping into me and that’s… huff… I cannot comprehend.

Dear ladies, I’m a GIRL. Not one of your toys. Why is this escalating? I’m not growing taller am I? Oh gosh..

For “you”…(UPDATED)

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Now you are going away forever and am I not to see you again? It could have been great. Heck, it could have been amazing! Everyday would be a picnic and I won’t have to worry at all knowing that you’re around. I cannot bear to see you leave and still I cannot tell you how I feel. All I can do is just wallow in self despair. Is this what you want me to feel? Even after you’re away?

You feel the same way and then you just turned around. And leave. With all that you are, nothing left here but memories. This is unacceptable. I can’t believe it! I’m heartbroken!

My utmost respect to you and I will never cease it unless if I will you out of my mind. How can that be when my days are filled with thoughts of you? You were never just another face. You are real! You are more real to me than anything!

If this is a test, then I’ve failed. I’ll miss you. I hope you know that.

-kklna”

*

Thank You, Allah, for listening to my prayer. And now, the person aforementioned is staying. You have blessed me tremendously. Thank You Allah. Thank You.

Don’t Throw Caution to the Wind.

Be wary when you are on the road. Whether you’re driving, or on your bike or just a pedestrian walking at the zebra crossing. You should know, that danger is just lurking around the corner the moment you stop being on guard.

As for me, the cuts and bruises are lessons to be learnt. What makes this more real was the fact that death was just inches away. And if I hadn’t budged, the cars could have easily crushed my head. SO! Don’t be afraid. But be careful. Living life is a privilege many of us take for granted.

-

Full Circle

It seems change is always in the air in this world we live in. Whether it be in your scenery or the people around you. Change is something, that sadly, I do not comprehend very well.

You see, I LOVE Normalcy. Just feeling accustommed to everything, everyday. Seeing the same faces everyday and doing some of the same things everyday. I thrive very well in a place that nothing has changed.

When there is a change, I can instantly feel it. It’s like… a disease really! Like a lack of enthusiasm or a baby plant that just sprouted somewhere nearby. Change just plagues me everywhere. I do not need change to survive for I know my sole Helper is Allah. He is there for me anytime and everywhere! Then changes come and suddenly I feel quite troubled and upset.

For example, look at my family. I love my family. I wish I could spend every minute with them, together, till the end. They have been my pillar of shelter and hope and entertainment all my life. I cannot, JUST CAN’T imagine seeing one of them go off somewhere and live there forever. I cannot imagine what were to happen if one of them were missing during one of our late night hang outs watching football and shouting at the television. I cannot imagine telling a joke and not have all of them hear it where we’ll all laugh together. Just the gathering of all of us is something that I hold on to dearly. WHAT is to happen when they’re off to marry… and my parents ship off to another country.. what of me then?

Each day I plead to Allah that this normalcy will countinue for as long as I am alive. That we will still be here, together with our differences aside. It’ll be a full circle and then, I’ll feel so at home, that I’ll wish it’ll never end.

-upset-